Shedding Light & Much More

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The renovation progress is slow and steady. Winter weather put everything behind and the resultant chain reaction of delays etc. is evident, but not worrisome. Once again the back yard is a repository for debris, materials and stuff (Remember Hoarding Cleanup, Rule #3?…No vacuum goes unfilled for long).

We, of course, intend to ultimately show Rule #3 to be a false rule for daily life, but for now it rules.

Walls are being patched from electrical work, heating ducts strung beneath the house, wall paper stripped, cabinets torn out, paint samples mulled over and over and anticipation mounts as the days tick by. It is a good thing we are not attempting to live amidst this dusty, messy process. 

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The cabinets and counters where old fridge and cluttered stove were are removed for reconfiguration. Holes have been patched.

So, I find myself trying to explain the past to workmen. They remark on the mess, the amount of stuff lying about. I find myself saying ‘Oh this is nothing. You should have seen it when…’ and launching into the past to explain the magnitude of the original mess. While I am doing this, I realize I cannot really explain with words how bad it was there and at my Mom’s. It is never fulfilling to try and explain and why I do it, I wonder.

There is a sense of incompleteness about the past, as in much of life, that begs for things to be tidied up, more complete, more happy. And, as in life, that is not going to happen, beyond the home renovation and returning it to a mid-Century little gem.

It is what is was. Disasters borne from unhappiness, loneliness and obsessions. I can put a smile on the ladies faces, recall their raised voices in glee and frankly shove the dark side somewhere and attempt to forget it, let it numb over time. Because, I cannot change what they wrought beyond cleanups and patching holes. Like a cancer, like a death, it is best accepted in some fashion of reality because I sure can’t adequately explain it. I refer some to here, to go back in time to look at the pictures and compare to now. But, even then I feel like some old timer trying to explain what was to people in a hurry, with distracted looks on their faces, who are listening as a courtesy while ever so slightly turning away to move on. That’s fine, fix those holes, patch this and that and get ‘er done.

patcheshole BR downstairspartyroom ceiling 

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4 thoughts on “Shedding Light & Much More

  1. Bonnie

    So true. It’s easier to give the standard reply (Fine, how are you?) than to deal with peoples natural curiosity and distracted expressions. At least you have your family and friends who helped with the hoard cleanup who can empathize when you need a friendly ear. It’s very fun to watch the process of bringing your aunts home back to life so thank you for continuing to share it. I imagine your aunts younger self would be so pleased to know that you are continuing to give such thought to the home she once loved so well. Are you keeping any original tile in the bathrooms or will that all be updated? Some folks are very into the preservation of the 1950’s bathrooms.

    1. Trying to preserve the bathroom tiles. Kitchen tiles had to go by the way…but bathroom will have lilacs and dark paint removed (a mixed vote on that move). Really only a paint job, new window, new ceiling fixture and exhaust fan. Thanks for dropping by!

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