Updates & Glimmers

The hands would be thrown in the air then brought together in a clap, she would rock back and forth and exclaim "Lordy me!"....to see herself in bed, sans dentures and hair flowing. But, the little glimmer of a smile upon seeing me and remarking about my scarf was enough to prompt a smile and putting her hand atop mine. The moment only lasted a few minutes before she lapsed back into a slumber. It was a bright spot in the day.

Something I have been doing is sending out group texts to all that might be interested in my Aunt’s health status. I do have a few that have no answering machine, computer, or cell phone. I make the calls but no one answers. Often, I forget to make the followup calls to the ‘disconnected’. Much like here in this blog, it is mentally difficult to repeat the same update…’she’s hanging on’   ‘she’s comfortable’   ‘she smiled’   ‘she’s not eating much and only sipping water’. You don’t want people to turn away. They offer support here and so do the family and friends, but people are busy and distracted with their own burdens and journeys.

Maybe they care, maybe they don’t, but I make the effort.


5 thoughts on “Updates & Glimmers

  1. Dayle

    There are many of us `out here` who care. No kin to us, no `dog in the fight` so to speak, but we have gone through it, and understand that sometimes just knowing someone is listening can make all the difference. The cost for loving and caring for those who cannot or will not love and care for themselves is quite high sometimes. We humans will work very hard to earn money to spend on our passions, only to end in the same place. I pray that I have done well enough in this life that one of my family members will care enough to sacrifice a portion of themselves to assist me in exiting bathed in love. Give, and it shall be given…I think that is what it says…

  2. Rae NcEnttire

    I care. I think about you and your family during the day. I include you in my prayers. Our family has gone through this as well. It is the last loving thing you can do for her and your endless love and compassion for your Aunt inspires me daily.

  3. annietiques

    I care as well………I couldn’t agree more with Dayle and Rae, I have grown to love your Aunt and have such respect for you, your wife and your family. You all are in my daily prayers…..

    I remember clearly the sense of “limbo” as my beloved strong, intelligent father was losing his fight for life. My sister and I alternated every two weeks, flying out to San Diego from the midwest and east coast to care for my father. It was the most difficult and joyful time of my life, trying to balance the needs of my family and my clients with what was foremost in my mind…….my father.
    I have never ever regretted wearing myself too thin……to have those last weeks, days and minutes with my father will be with me forever. I was fortunate that my husband understood how much I loved my father and willingly took up the slack at home.

    What you are giving your Aunt and yourself is what life is all about…….love and respect for another human being.

    1. Dayle

      You could not have said that better! Love and respect…even persons who have been unkind to us as we care for them (head injury, dementia, ect.) deserve honor. It is tough, no doubt about it. No martyrdom, no applause, just love to another human being. The sacrifice costs us in sleep an personal issues, but the reward is knowing we are decent, and kind, and human. It takes an eraser in our mind and rights a few wrongs we can no longer go back and undo, sort of pennance, but more like restitution based on humility. You will always treasure the time, forget the lack of sleep, and remember his passing as a good memory of giving him something no one else can give…you! Such a dear lady, thank you for sharing that!.

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