As I have noted before, when I enter the care facility and the care giver shakes her head or rolls her eyes, I know it has not been a good day, nor is it likely to be a pleasant visit. Tonight when I entered, she not only warned me of the day’s difficult events, but warned me further that I was the bad guy and my wife was not far behind on the shit list.
I had assisted my aunt the night before in prepping Christmas cards to mail out (yes they will be late). Today, I addressed and stamped the envelopes. The cards had a hand written greeting by me and my aunt simply had to write her name inside and I would marry the cards and envelopes and get them out in the mail tomorrow.
Well now, I had to get an ear full on what a rotten, stealing man I am. She wanted me to explain all the stuff she had found in my car today. Hmm? While I contemplated some clever and not overly sarcastic remark, she directed my attention to the nearby murky water with snakes. Ok, I had to discuss the snakes and really never got around to defending myself from stealing what….? The damn ‘angels’ she had me looking all over for the other day! I am smirking, almost smiling, while I write this. It was too much like a bizarre moment, like in August, with me looking quizzically about for some Candid Camera team. Except there isn’t one. And, if you are not a frequent visitor, she did not, could not look in my ‘car’ (truck) because she is most often confined to a wheel chair and she had not been down to her house to catch me loading up my car. And, no I don’t have the blessed angels either!
I was accused of serious crimes tonight. I have ‘matured’ so much in just a matter of months. In August, I would have drilled back. Tonight, I listened to her verbal assaults and directed her in signing her Christmas cards and listened as she wanted me to help her leave the facility.
Am I emotionally flat, deflated, exhausted? I am pretty deflated of late. The holiday season is whizzing up closer and closer. I will keep in mind the true meaning of the season and not sweat the small stuff.
‘Stuff’….such a funny little word. Could be ‘things’ but often ‘stuff’. “My stuff’ “It’s my stuff’ ‘Where did you put my stuff?’