Hoarding Woes: Stepping Through…………

As I stood in my dad's empty shed and gazed out toward the yard, all manner of thoughts swirled inside. Most importantly, I realized there is no point in assuming total responsibility for every wrong turn that ensued for my my mom after my dad died. Yes, I should of done some things differently. But, in the end, her mental health issues (hoarding, rough childhood, anger) aside, I did what I could and cannot assume all the fault, blame, guilt. It paralyzes. It causes harm. It does no good moving forward, when I have to be energized for future challenges. My dad left home at 14. One of 11 kids from the hollows of West Virginia, he was hardened early. He was in the Army by 17 years of age. He never looked back. I imagine he had regrets and thought 'what if's" but he moved on and did his best until the very end. He was an amazing role model of fortitude, duty, quiet love, and determination. I moved toward the door, and mentally uttered my usual salutation to my departed dad, "I love you Dad" and walked away from that shed, knowing I carry enough burdens without needlessly carrying more than my fair share.

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