Hoarding Home. To be sold. The mess gone. The hoarder gone. What might you feel? Relief, Closure, Termination, Done, Over, Move On. Yes, relief. Sell the damn place. Pay off the debts and liens. Stand up, move on and don’t look back. Oh, wait.
What? Regret. Grief resurrected? Sadness. A heavy cloud of what if’s and why’s? What the hell! When is this over? When it comes together in your heart, head and yes, soul. It suddenly makes sense. Forgiveness. No more judging. Pure love. Are you there while they are alive, in the mess, still at odds? A long ways to go.
Imagine my surprise when I discover the Team is scattered, emotionally, far and wide, regarding this progression: sad, relieved, grieving, happy; did I say sad?
Bottom line: The feelings for a hoarding survivor (I mean the family members/friends left behind that endured the life style, clean up, arguments, the deaths, the grieving) can suddenly come rushing from behind, unresolved. I have seen it of late. I am resigned, collected. All is good. Whoa! I stop, turn around and see others that paid a price also, caught up in grief. Well hell, I thought we moved through all this? Nope. It is still there. Hoarding or any addiction, has a way of lingering, loitering, holding on. Damn. I thought we were done with all this?
No, actually it is still there and will be, as you move through the process…coming and going…grief/relief revisited. Don’t be surprised as others are not on the same page as you. It does take a toll!
The wig is gone. A smile is there. We share her dinner. I dish up an ice cream sandwich for her. Insistent on going home tonight! She is packed! No love, not tonight. Not until after Christmas. ‘WHAT’!!! Yes, love, after Christmas. Eyes darting left and right. Shoulders easing down. Tension diminishing. She accepts, at least for tonight. We see above that the emotions move all over. One day at a time.
What caused all this? The positive response of multiple offers on my mom’s house! Hmm? And, my aunt lost that damn wig! Ah, the ebb and flow of life around a hoarder, or any other addiction.