Hoarding TV Shows

Just touching base. Surgery went like surgery goes. Get there early. Wait. Lay on a too short of a bed for the IV to be inserted; verification of who I am and and what I was having done. Insert the juice and out before I hit the double doors into OR; in and out of awareness for several hours in recovery and eventually on the way home dazed, drooling and hungry. A fitful night’s sleep and keeping ahead of the pain scale’s 6-10. 

While I was out for the count, I am told, my aunt was fairly content and moving through the dementia continuum. Work at my mom’s house continued with the luck of beautiful Indian Summer days.

The surgery 'went well' as bones, mass and fluids were removed for assessments. Thank goodness for a good surgeon and meds.

So, as part of my convalescing today, I watched some Hoarders shows. I find watching these shows very frustrating. I notice the ‘experts’ have their lingo down like ‘compulsive acquisition’ etc. It all sounds like a defined illness. But, if there is no time crunch to get the hoarder moving, there is inevitably drag that brings the process to a halt. Seems as if there is a lot of stress created as a crew stands about waiting for the hoarder to make the decisions….the one at a time decisions. The scenario doesn’t play out well as the family members make their best efforts to get the ball rolling, to keep the crew busy and to make hay while the sun shines. You know what is going to happen. The hoarder gets wind of the stuff going out the back door, the unfiltered stuff. The stuff hits the fan and it all comes to a halt. 

The supposed lesson here is that the hoarder must weigh each decision and be in control of the situation for there to be a possible chance at lasting change. Take away the cameras. Take away the luxury of ‘experts’ and crews. The reality is ugly and I turn away before long. Why?

Because it is seemingly hopeless unless the stars align. Maybe the stars aligned for me because my mom died and my aunt broke a knee and her neck…easy ways out, for me. Oh, I had my repeated battles with my mom….the same you see on those TV shows. Ultimatums, tears, throwing things, cussing, silent treatments…on and on. And, that was without a camera, large crew and trucks, time lines or ‘experts’. It was ugly and that was with a lot of negotiating. No wonder others turn and throw up their hands, shake their heads. Walk out. Stay washed in guilt and regrets. 

Hoarding: look for it early in you and them. Recognize it early. IF..anything can be done, do it before floors disappear from view.


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2 thoughts on “Hoarding TV Shows

  1. Veronica in CA

    I just discovered your blog a couple weeks ago; have read every entry and am now all caught up. My husband and I are dealing with so many of the same issues as you are. It is truly a “keep all the plates spinning” situation. The stress is incredible, jumping moment to moment from the frustration to the alarming moments.

    I do hope you will take some time out for fishing this autumn after you heal from surgery. And your wife and family, as well. We have found that in the big picture, the elder-care issues will not escalate if you take a day off.

    Sometimes we feel like: What did we do to deserve this from our parents? We were good kids, never problem teens, always got good grades in school. Not difficult, sulking kids. Respected and obeyed our folks. We didn’t have keg parties when they were out of town. Never totalled the family car. What kind of payback is this?

    It seems like there is light at the end of the tunnel regarding your mom’s house. I am glad for you on that! Do not worry too much about the low house prices today, but rejoice in getting a heavy load off your back (literally and figuratively.)

    And the Team at your aunt’s house is truly a Miracle Team. The wedding gift you gave to the bride across the street had to be the best gift she received from anyone. I hope the neighbors recognized your Herculean effort!

    All my best wishes to you, and I will be following your blog. I say a little prayer for you, your family, and all of us “Boomers” who are in this situation.

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