Hoarding Woes: Coping & Dementia

Coping With Dementia 

Standing back, clinically, it is easy to see the stresses of dealing with this in your family. In the moment, you have a small voice cautioning, guiding, reminding you about what is unfolding. Sometimes you resent, rebel, retreat or challenge this sad state of being. No way around it, you have to try to maintain your control and compassion in dealing with this mental maze. It is in their best interest, and it is in the best interest of your mind, heart, health and yes your soul to stay in control. I write this after having miserably handled this over the past few weeks and I knew better….intellectually, clinically…I knew better. And, it did not so much cause any emotional harm to my beloved aunt as it did to me and those around me.

Don't overload yourself with too many burdens without doing self assessments and accepting help...love, advice, comfort, a helping hand. But, realize you are indeed loaded up.

There is an emotional toll here that must be dealt with over the long haul as it does influence all other aspects of your life. But, in the midst of this changing, before your eyes, defenses come up that must be monitored and maintained. Easy to see it from afar. Not so easy in the swirl……..  (image via http://surefiretest.com/) 


3 thoughts on “Hoarding Woes: Coping & Dementia

  1. James

    Sometimes life is like being cuaght in a bad storm without a hat. We know we will get through it but the hail on the back of our ears hurts like hell. Sure we can hide behind a tree to deflect our humiliating situation, but fear makes us trudge on into our need to be right about things out of our control. All we know at that moment is we need to knee jerk our way along until it passes and we can get our bearings and make a BETTER choice. Listen, I ain’t got answers my man, but ask yourself this, where would your Aunt be without this solid effort. Fight the good fight!


  2. annietiques

    “Not so easy in the swirl”………..what a profound statement. Your writing is helping not only you cope with your difficult situation, but I truly believe it is helping many many people who find themselves in a similar situation. Accept the love and guidance from your wife and your close circle of friends, they see the same man that I do…..a man struggling to do what is right for your aunt in an extraordinarily difficult set of circumstances.

    Your aunts comments about not knowing what is real and what is a dream, I found very telling……can you imagine how frightening that would be?? Take that as a gift from her….deep down she trusts you and knows that you have her best interests not only in your heart but your mind as well. Wishing you all a peaceful non-eventful week!

    You, your sweet aunt and your family remain in my heart and prayers.

    1. You know, I have written this blog primarily to just vent. I am often hesitant to write something as it seems like being on a tread mill and I don’t want to hear myself repeat sometimes because it seems like I am getting no where in dealing with some things. But, I have to honestly say the comments by folks visiting this site are so humbling and gently sustaining that I am drawn up. Gentle, powerful, provoking, real…there is no way to not be sustained by such compassion.

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