Hoarding Woes: Thankfully Quiet…Kind Of

Thankfully, it was a bit quieter for my aunt, after Saturday’s long day. She rested. She didn’t fight the collar. She ate a bit, although it did hurt to open her jaw too far. The pain meds took the edge off the pain and she mostly slept. She did, however, continue to hold a grudge against the EMT/Ambulance guys for a plot hatched by me. I, in fact, was driving the ambulance! Such magical, maniacal powers I have. She had an ok day to allow her to rest.

Shattered & Fractured (Utah Photography)

Going to be a busy week: advise physical therapist of new injury; contact lady who earlier performed a cognitive assessment and meet her; advise new doctor (appt. Friday) that my aunt has had new accident and not sure she will be able to travel (maybe/maybe not); attempt to find out where the annual insurance bill went to (I paid it by now last year and year before) as I don’t want lapse in coverage

I must convince my aunt to the South that she cannot just show up and remove my aunt from the care facility given my aunt’s mental state, physical state and her lack of standing. Annoying as hell. Arrogance and a “I’ll show you attitude” are getting in the way of common sense in my aunt’s stabilization and care. This distant aunt wore out before from my aunt’s relentless ‘I want to go home’ and unceremoniously dumped off my aunt on her door step without so much as a word to anyone up here that she, my aunt, was back in her hoarding home. I won’t tolerate this arrogant, meddlesome bullshit this time around and will squash it up front! She hung up on me yesterday. Didn’t appreciate my tone of voice. 

There are repercussions to such intrusions upon the elder and upon those that are tired and frazzled from the on going care. Of course, the soft spoken refrain is we are only trying to help as we know you have been carrying this burden alone. Yes alone…and the assistance is not welcomed because it is not based on good faith or in the best interest of the hoarder. To decide on the hoarder’s side and their sense of independence is to ignore the reality of hoarding, fire safety, dangers of falls, health practices, sanitation, dementia care, paying the bills and every other damn thing they are clueless about beyond the tip of their self absorbed, arrogant nose. Sorry…but I feel better now.

I said ‘kind of’ because yesterday my wife had a severe migraine that wiped her out…my daughter, away at college, had her parked car totaled by a moving van (kind of sentimental as this was my mom’s car, which she gave to my daughter)…also, a dear, dear friend died of  stomach cancer…and there was a myriad of bumps and bruises to loved ones.

So, I was glad my aunt decidedly slowed down and caught her breath and allowed the care givers to catch their breath…at least for the day. 


2 thoughts on “Hoarding Woes: Thankfully Quiet…Kind Of

  1. Mary

    You have more than had your hands full. What a horrific day with the aunt at the ER. I am glad at least she has calmed down a little. Do you have guardianship over the aunt? We had to go to court for guardianship papers to avoid interference by other relatives who, of course, knew better than us how to care for our aunt. They, too, carried none of the load of caring for her, just had many suggestions sometimes in the form of orders! Hang in there – I am sure I am not the only one saying a daily prayer for you and your family as well as your aunt.


    1. SwittersB

      Mary your advice is right on. I took your hint and saw an attorney today. I do indeed need the guardianship papers, even if there were no meddlesome relatives. I need to establish the lack of competency and apply for guardianship. With the exception of an emergency, it will take several weeks and here entails a two week investigation to substantiate the allegations re competency. Thanks!

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