A thief? Not really. Well maybe? A thief of simplicity, organization, seeing the horizon. I am reminded of a couple key things this morning before I head off to my aunt’s house:
I have remarked before that when things get chaotic in this hoarding cleanup, your life gets potentially behind: paying bills for yourself and your hoarding aunt and your deceased mom, your work priorities, your loved ones and yourself. Subtle and not so subtle reminders that you are not quite focused. Overdue notices in life.
It has been a theme in my mom’s and aunt’s life: someone near and trusted has stolen something. Paranoia and distrust from long ago carried forward. Property missing and that knowing look and head bob. Someone near has taken something. Awkward silences. Is it better to call bullshit on it or remain silent?
What have you done for yourself lately? A moment taken away from the fray; how is it used? I find inertia sets in. My get up and go has been redesigned for everything but me. Opportunities to get out and do something for me are met with a ho-hum attitude and the clock ticks by the opportunity. Nagging regret. Nagging resentment.
Digging down to rise up and get going. Toward this hoarding world. Not my world before. Now it is and will be for the next several years at least. I must find a pace and balance to this. I am not mentally unbalanced from a diagnostic point of view. Can I confess to PTSD and compartmentalization? Can I confess to mental saturation being met by a survival mode, trudge ahead, don’t stop too long, don’t look back mindset? Hmm? Yes, TMI.
The sun is out. A cooler, beautiful morning indeed. Visuals, good visuals, are incentives to rise up and get moving. Perhaps a big white board is in order to list out every task and action steps toward completing the tasks? Like I have at work. Life has become like work. I need to find running water soon or the quiet back bay of a lake near the reeds. Reconnecting to nature is always an instinctive thing for me. Not stuff. Not someone else’s disconnects.
Ok, headed out. A beautiful Sunday. Life is good. It could be a lot worse….