Months ago, we struggled to negotiate a safer pathway as it required laying hands on her ‘stuff’. We progressed and made the place safer. Perfect? No. Negotiations to maintain her dignity. Easy enough to bulldoze her and get it done.
I did that with my mom. I regret it. We never quite made amends even as she laid dying in my home, when my apologies went toward deaf hears. I apologized as I rubbed her grey hair…as she took her final breaths.
My Aunt is even more fragile of the heart. What is the point as long as she is safe? I will be spending another year of my life cleaning her place as I have spent the last year at my mom’s. Just what you do, or at least what I do as I don’t see that many options.
My Aunt’s heart: the too few of you that visit..thank you, I notice…the swelling is down in the ankles. She is more lucid and alert since yesterday. Now we know this is ongoing from now on. Not surprising some would say..hell she is 93, almost 94 y/o. But, it does not ease the burden of caring and loving and losing another fine woman. We will pay even more attention. We will have to make harder decisions eventually. We will just have to recognize when those moments are staring us in the face.
Oh, she sat outside today and noticed the tulips, daffodils, and candy tuft. She also noticed the old hand clippers and an old shovel are missing from the front porch. Dear God. I have walked by there so many times and never noticed an old shovel or clippers. “Someone took them.” Sigh……………………… Patience.