My daughter is home from college for the holidays. My aunt has only met her for a birthday celebration for my mom last year and at my mom’s funeral. During those times, my aunt was off kilter with bad health, a large family setting (not accustomed too) and then grief.
My mom always extolled the virtues of my daughter. In the scheme of things, my mom raised a son and grandsons and had a hard edge. This was, in honesty, scary to my daughter and they never formed the bonds my sons had. As my mom came into our home for her final months, my daughter displayed so much warmth and effort with my mom. I saw my daughter as I had never before. She gave my mom something she had craved with my daughter. It meant the world to my mom as she faded. They both had a love on shoes, ‘nice’ shoes (high heels).
She relayed this to her sister in her final weeks. It has registered with my aunt (who also had a love of ‘nice’ shoes). So, my aunt wants to meet my daughter and this will further expand my aunt’s universe of love, family and comfort with a visit. Remember, my aunt did not let anyone into her home for 45 years. This allowing admittance is, I believe, a product of her realization that someone cares about her and because my mom extolled our love and care for her as she died to my aunt.
I know my daughter will shine again and touch my aunt’s heart….and, I know this will further strengthen my daughter’s resolve to love, care, serve and cherish family and the community.
All this is not calculated. It is to love. The by product may be, may be, will be that stuff is not the end all/be all. Money is not the end all. No, I have no illusions that she, my aunt, will make some drastic mental conversion. I just want her to know there is more to her life now. Her stuff and love.
My mom knew that in the end. In the end, as she dwindled down in time, she verbally stated that none of it mattered anymore. That, of course, was with the full realization that she was indeed dying and living in our home. She had left her mess for the warmth, comfort and somewhat more tidy confines of our home and a hospice environment. I know my mom told her sis that. Maybe it registers a little bit now. FAMILY Visits Considered