Hoarding Woes: Stepping Up

McClatchy Blog

With my now departed mom, I kept my distance. I honored her privacy. I was not allowed into her home. I didn’t mess with her finances. I didn’t want to offend. In the end, as she wasted in our home in hospice, it became necessary to insert into her privacy and it was an awkward process up to the end. She did eventually turn herself over to me as she turned herself over to the reality of impending death.

My aunt, on the other hand, will not turn herself over. She wants to, but her memory is such that several hours after making a tentative commitment toward a sound decision, she has forgotten that decision. This prompts a question…how aggressive do I get here. I want her to feel trusting and respected. Yet, financial and health matters loom. I will have to negotiate this process with doctors, banks and financial institutions and hope she stays with me…mentally. If she fails to recall or balks then of course her consent can appear to have been revoked. A mess for efficiency and a mess for our lives balance and mental stability.

Overloaded now. Doing what is right, but feeling our way through a mine field of unknowns.

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