I write less frequently now. We seemed to have climbed the massive peak sometime ago and started the descent. Almost fearful to look back, not wanting to revisit all that came with those two hoarding cleanups and the grueling loss of two dear ladies.
We mentally settled into our new home. We felt the tensions start to release. Ah, but wait. We seemed to have forgotten the large elephant (I guess they’re all large aren’t they) standing in the room. We still owned another home that needed to be cleaned out and renovated and sold…the clock was ticking. Mortgage payments continued. The house, whether to be rented or sold had to be cleaned out and fixed up.
Should have been a simple matter compared to what we had been through? But, whether ignored, not immediately recognized or suppressed some bothersome patterns of old re-emerged and might again be of use to you.
We found ourselves dealing with the following repeat offenders: sentimental attachments…’might be worth something’…’I might need it someday’…’I will do it later’…and just honest to God damaged bodies and some suppressed mental fatigue thing that seriously clouds momentum and decisions. Both my wife and I found ourselves at a standstill.
We had set aside way too much of my Mom’s and Aunt’s stuff. Really, unless we rotate items we found ourselves with boxes of stuff stacked at the new home with no place to put the items. Some had collector’s value and some were sentimental keepsakes. They added up.
Our kids had moved out sometime ago. They moved out into student housing or small, shared environments and we still had all the years of accumulation that had not been adequately thinned out along the way. Books, toys, sports, clothing, stuffed animals, drawings, pictures, furniture in grand scale given my Mom (the hoarding Mom) loved to give many presents on the scale with which she accumulated stuff! ‘Here grandson how about a large fire truck…no how about two and you can pretend you are a whole fire department!’
We found we had moved lean into the new home in keeping with the new life style we wanted to see. But somehow those old bugaboos of holding onto stuff had snuck into the mix! Procrastination had entered into the mix and we let down our game face intensity and it up and left us! No energy to stand up and kick ass and get rid of that old house!
So we have mounted the offensive to have the old house on the market one month from now. Carpets have been gutted out. Each room is receiving unmerciful (well not quite that ruthless) scrutiny of what stays and what goes with the ‘goes’ pieces a substantial amount. A trailer is making trips to the dump. We have coordinated with an estate sale planner to infuse a great deal of the items (good quality items) into a low quantity estate sale (the client would/must be ok with such an intrusion). Renovations have been commenced. We and dear old members of ‘the Team’ (those stalwart family members that suffered through the hoarding cleanups) have offered to help with this final blitz.
So much of this is mental (timelines, plans, action steps to complete toward large goals, constant assessing Plan A and Plan B, and helping each other to stay on course when one would rather stay home, stay down, get more sleep, just do it later). But there is the undeniable physical component I have often alluded to. If you are out of shape or suffer physical ailments there is an inescapable price to be paid on your body. The Team could equally be called the Bad Back Sciatica Team.
So to recap…the obvious you are thinking…yes I know, I know: If you are involved in a hoarding cleanup strongly consider what you are bringing into your own home along the way because you will suddenly have that full garage, basement, spare room (all of the above maybe) and getting to it later equals when you are older, tired, ill, battered and cannot fathom sorting through all that stuff. Be careful what you decide to keep.
Kick your kids in the ass to make decisions of what stays and what goes and be ruthless with them to avoid the decision making pitfalls of sentimentality, practicality, worth etc. A little bit will enter into it, but boxes of stuffed animals or clothing for their children is not practical and most importantly where will it be stored in those years they are off finding themselves and establishing a life???
Well, we are off to the ‘old house’, the Team is waiting on us. Lastly, anyway that you can recruit and retain help will greatly assist you in maintaining momentum and help you over come procrastination, sharing the physical toil and ‘enjoying’ the process.
Yes, we had to stop, turn around and climb partway back up that hill but the reality is our perceptions were blurry. This was a small task compared to everything we have done (size, difficulty) but the ability to see that was difficult when mental fatigue and maybe even just damage has taken hold. Much like life is a journey where you learn as you go or reflect back and see how you have changed along the way. We just wanted to reflect; soon…very soon.