Last night we were watching a Hoarding: Buried Alive episode. I wasn’t focused on the show so much as it was on in the background as I navigated the net on my laptop.
I became aware, suddenly, that I was uncomfortable with the show being on. Why? Well it was a subtle intrusion into my mind…the recollections of avoidance to an obvious problem (my Mom’s, my Aunt’s massive hoarding); it was a reminder of confrontations that ended poorly; a flashback to hurt feelings and ultimatums; a memory of negotiations progressing toward failure in meeting cleanup deadlines.
Despite several years of positive accomplishments in hoarding cleanups, looming in the back of my mind is the failures in dealing with the hoarders. So when I watch the TV hoarder and the resistance that plays out, I am uncomfortably reminded of how stressful that was for us. Of course, that is the intent of the shows. It is to portray how overwhelming the process is for all involved. The visuals convey the magnitude, sometimes the smells, and the denials of the hoarder. All very powerful and may I just say off putting for me. My wife likes to watch such shows. I obviously have some unresolved issues of self-forgiveness and objective self assessments.
I don’t like to watch either as it reminds me too much of the hoarders in the family and the problems I haven’t yet dealt with. I still need to find a way to get the hoarder out of dad’s house so I can put it on the market. In theory he agrees he will leave, but in practice there is no real progress. I worry about ending up in court and the hurt feelings and lasting damaged relationships that will occur.
yes…the confrontations and all the anxiety over the outcomes. I wish the very best with all this. I know your journey has been long and much remains. I appreciate your support and know you have ours as well!
Hoarding shows must bring up so many painful memories, the conflict with people that you care about, and the literal crap that you’ve been left with. I can’t watch Intervention (or similar shows) for the same reason. Addicts in denial make me want to throw something through the screen. I guess I’ll eventually work through the grieving process of what my family member’s addictions have taken from me, and be able to face it with less anger, but I doubt I’ll ever be comfortable listening to the denial and twisting of truth and poor-me evasions that go with the disorder. Not my idea of entertainment. Why would I want to expose myself to that hell again, even through a TV screen?